First I found love for myself.
As I wrote in an earlier post inhere, I found out that I actually do like most components of the person I've become. Sure, I'm still an insecure 20-year old who doesn't know what to do with life yet, but I've come to the conclusion, that it is alright to feel that way. It's actually necessary to feel that. But as long as I'm feeling good in my insecurity, it's fine. I love my body. I've realized I can be really beautiful, and that I don't have to loose weight, and don't have to wear makeup all the time. I've found out that I love my weird obscure thoughts and mind... and can I call it intelligence? I don't even know what these odd things going on in my mind are, but I like them.
Second, I found out I love my past.
How ever cliché that may sound, it's made me who I am. I've been through a whole bunch of really bad relationships, but they've helped me understand what I really want in a relationship, and they've made me extremely honest about that. Both to lovers and to friends, I'm very honest about everything - at least I think I am! And I've been through things with my family, which has somewhat made a close bond to them, but most of all, has helped me be more tolerant to people around me.... at some point I realized, not everyone's like me, or has the same opinions as me.... shocking right?
Third, I found out I love those small moments in my every day.
As my last post about the Copenhagen shopping spree. If you let your mind be open to experiences like that, they happen all around you. And the way I experienced those small events that day made me reflect over my past and also my future. I think it's this self-reflection that develops us as persons. And I believe, that if you put some reflection into every single day, you've learned something new about yourself, and about life in general.
Over all, when you've learned to accept yourself, it's so much easier to meet new people, get friends, fall in love - because the acceptance transmits to other people, and it gets much easier for them to accept you. I'm very happy with where I am right now - even though my life is sort of a chaos - but in my mind, I feel so.... calm.. and happy. Sometimes life is really good, and this is one of the times!
So here comes one of my biggest feel-good favorite songs:
